Tuesday, August 16, 2005

80's Goes Teh Suck

Listening to the The Spandex Years on WRUW the other day, I heard a song that is surely in the top running for The Lamest Cover Of All Time Award.

Apparently, the "Christian punk" band Relient K, of "Be My Escape" (undeserved) fame, has recorded a cover of the 80's hit "Manic Monday" by The Bangles. The hilarity that resulted can be heard in full by downloading the archived Spandex Years show here (click the 56k link. Available until 8/20 only!). The song appears approximately 49 minutes into the file if you don't want to listen to the whole thing. But if you enjoy good 80's music, I highly recommending sitting through the 2 hours. A short clip of this terrible cover (and oh so many others) can be heard at the MySpace page for the Punk Goes 80's compilation it appears on.

So many things to insult, I hardly know where to begin.

On Relient K:

Why do they need 2/3 guitars? I hear no counter melodies. I don't hear anything that requires more than a guitar, a bass, and drums. Two theories as to why they need the extra instrumentation:
1) If they have at least two of them playing the same part, between the two/three of them, the melody will actually get played.
2) One or two of them just wanted to get laid, and so they added the members on unnecessarily. Since it's lame to play the tambourine, they just stuck a guitar in their hands. The main problem with this theory being that they're a "Christian" group, and joining such a band for the purpose of getting action seems....somewhat contrary. But it is still highly plausible. I'm sure plenty of pre-teens are willing to "be their escape."

On Punk Goes 80's:

Not a single band on this compilation is "punk." And don't argue that they're "pop punk," because that term means nothing. It just indicates pop that's a little heavy on guitar. This certainly bears no resemblance to punk music in it's original form (i.e. Sex Pistols, The Ramones, etc).

I also don't understand the notion that speeding a song up makes it "punk." I'm sorry, but it doesn't. It makes it (gasp!) faster. It also makes it worse if the arrangement doesn't merit the speeding up, as the Relient K ditty highlights.

This song is just so horribly bad; it almost becomes good. Awesomely bad, perhaps? I find myself listening to it just to giggle. In particular, the slow emotional ending that takes the song far too seriously. How can they sing "I wish it were a Sunday, cause that's my fun day" as if they were singing about a new young love and not crack up laughing?

That may very well be my only credit to this song. Relient K's amazing ability to take themselves and this song seriously despite the multitude of reasons not to.


Anonymous lis said...

there is one good song on that punk goes 80s album, which its the early november cover of power of love. However, i do agree that they aren't really punk. BUT! they slow the song DOWN. oh man! So its really like acoustic-y/emo-y cover of back to the future theme song! I dled all those punk goes whatever (there is a punk goes pop, which i think you'd find to be HILARIOUSLY BAD) but yes.. at least love "power of love" its so loving!
"Don' need no credit card to ride this train.. its the power of love"

8:25 AM, August 17, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Perhaps the song is good. I didn't actually sit through all the clips. After about 5, I gave up hope on finding a good song...and my sides hurt from laughing at the suckitude.
Perhaps I should check out this Punk Goes Pop...everyone loves a terrible cover every now and then.

4:20 PM, August 17, 2005  

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