Simply Horrific.

I had heard rumors of this before, and had hoped for dear life that it wasn't true. But sadly, it is.

Paris Hilton is apparently a musician now.

Well, at least she is putting out an album. After listening to a few of the songs on her new MySpace page, I wouldn't venture to call her such. Though the songs do provide a good laugh (via terrible lyrics, bad songwriting, and overall suckitude), I had trouble stomaching the three tracks in their entirety. It's almost painfully bad, really.

Of course, we know that the model will play the role of a pop starlette very well. Slutty pictures of her abound. I doubt she even had to do a new photoshoot for her album art work. And as the background picture of her MySpace shows, she's all set to do a cover of Rolling Stone. But it's pretty obvious that Paris is unfamiliar with playing the guitar. She appears to think that it is played with the crotch.

I'm sorry to break it to you, Paris, but you can't accomplish everything in life via vagina. Though you're sure making a valiant effort.

Edit: Apparently this was in fact a fake site. I suppose that makes sense, since she made a big deal about becoming the "hiphop princess," and those songs sounded nothing like that. Anyways, since being exposed the site has since become a thing making fun of Paris Hilton. Oh well.